That's today's prompt. I'm supposed to write without editing, whatever comes to mind, for five minutes.
But I don't want to share.
Everything hurts and each hurt is so private, so personal, and so ultimately meaningless. In such a very short period of time, the perfect life I worked so hard for, planned and saved and fought and attained, is ashes.
The mixed bag of loved ones who were beating all the odds... I don't know if those people ever existed outside of my head.
Maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to see.
Rose-colored glasses that I lost somewhere between dinner and dishes.
Dancing in the kitchen to music in our heads turned into cold and silence and absence, even though you are right there.
Wanting a goodbye kiss from someone who no longer wants to bestow one is just more than I can handle today. So desperately do I not want to want it that I throw away this morning's chance. A preemptive strike, I fling it far from me and I walk away and I don't look back. A small rebellion against my role as the one left behind.
And cry til lunch because what if it was the last one.
Knowing the last one came and went while I was dancing in the kitchen, blind in my glasses, admiring my rose-colored world.
unaltered photo courtesy of Dylan Porteus, some rights reserved