That's today's prompt. I'm supposed to write without editing, whatever comes to mind, for five minutes.
But I don't want to share.
Everything hurts and each hurt is so private, so personal, and so ultimately meaningless. In such a very short period of time, the perfect life I worked so hard for, planned and saved and fought and attained, is ashes.
The mixed bag of loved ones who were beating all the odds... I don't know if those people ever existed outside of my head.
Maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to see.
Rose-colored glasses that I lost somewhere between dinner and dishes.
Dancing in the kitchen to music in our heads turned into cold and silence and absence, even though you are right there.
Right there.
Wanting a goodbye kiss from someone who no longer wants to bestow one is just more than I can handle today. So desperately do I not want to want it that I throw away this morning's chance. A preemptive strike, I fling it far from me and I walk away and I don't look back. A small rebellion against my role as the one left behind.
And cry til lunch because what if it was the last one.
Knowing the last one came and went while I was dancing in the kitchen, blind in my glasses, admiring my rose-colored world.
unaltered photo courtesy of Dylan Porteus, some rights reserved
